The Five Most Frightening (Future) Mass Murderers of All Time

Charles Whitman, Julio Gonzales, Mama Cass. These are just a few names of those who have killed innocent people and/or buffet lines. The Douginator gives you five more to worry about in the future.

 

 

Max Power Movie Reviews: Semi-Pro, Atonement, Interview

Max Power reviews a set of hit-or-miss movies, featuring Will Ferrell's most recent flop Semi-Pro, 2007's insta-classic Atonement, and Interview, Steve Buscemi's directorial debut.





Interview with a Presidential Candidate:
Light Party's Da Vid

Maybe you were thinking, "Man, I want someone in the Oval Office who would take Ecstasy." Your prayers are about to be answered! The Douginator interviews The Light Party's Da Vid.

 


Ten Vegetables That I Ain't Eatin'

Screw vegetables. A real man's diet is anchored with red meat, not green, stringy, leafy stuff. The Gerk takes a look at ten veggies that aren't ever going to cross his lips.

 

 

Beer Reviews: Volume Two

Every American man loves three things: outdoor hockey games, $.50 wing nights, and ice cold beer. Here at Arabian Monkey we would love to cover all three, but for right now we'll just stick to the brewed stuff. This time around, The Gerk and Demonic Laughter review some imported beer, namely Weihenstephaner Kristall Weissbier, Dragon's Milk, and Labatt Blue.

 

 

Max Power Movie Reviews: There Will Be Blood, Becoming Jane, and Fargo

There Will Be Blood may not have won "Best Picture" at the Oscars, but rest assured that Arabian Monkey's movie reviewer Max Power believes it is definitely worth the price of admission. For this batch of movie reviews, Max also critiques Becoming Jane and takes a look back at a classic comedy, Fargo.

 

 

Celebrity Slam: Round 3

Max Power is back in action with another round of celebrity trash talking. This time he features the shitty music of Avril Lavigne, Matthew McConaughey's terrible new clothing line, and Whoopi Goldberg's snub from the 2008 Oscars.

 


Jonathon "The Impaler" Sharkey Fights to Save Vampires Everywhere and Seeks the Help of the U.N. to Form a Vampire Nation

Our buddy Jonathon has been up busy lately. The Arabian Monkey Press Association has the report.

 

 

ArabianMonkey.com Invention: Toothpaste Flavored Poptarts

Oh no! You woke up an hour late! You need to eat breakfast and get the smell of cheap booze and beef jerky off of your breath- but you only have time for one or the other! Toothpaste Flavored Poptarts just may be the perfect solution.

 


ArabianMonkey.com Invention: The Lenny Kravitz Blocker

Sick and tired of your friends playing crappy Lenny Kravitz music on your computer? So are we. The Douginator has created The Lenny Kravitz Blocker for Mozilla Firefox users.

 

 

Cuba Should Continue to Stand Against U.S. Imperialism

Do any of you remember a writer who went by the pseudonym Jesus Shuttlesworth? Check the "About Us" section if you've forgotten, or click the above link for his latest political tirade. The victim this time? The United States' relationship with Fidel Castro and Cuba.

 




What Type Of Scientologist Are You?

Are you bat-shit crazy? Maybe you're a Scientologist! The Douginator helps you discover your inner Xenu and guides you to a State of Clear.

 

 

Six Guys I Would Go Gay For

Some guys would prop a tent in any man's pants, and those on this list assuredly meet that criteria. Demonic Laughter explores his alternative lifestyle in this article intended to spark a debate over the validity of man-crushes.

 

 

Aesop's Erotic Fables: "The Tortoise and The Hare"

It is a little known fact that when Aesop wrote his legendary fables thousands of years ago, he initially crafted them to be short stories of the trashy romance genre. In this edition of Aesop's Erotic Fables, The Gerk is proud to present one of the original texts of "The Tortoise and The Hare."

 


The Top Ten Date Movies of All-Time

As Arabian Monkey's movie connoisseur, Max Power knows the best films for every occasion. A hot, steamy date is no exception- behold, the top ten date movies of all-time.

 

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©2007, 2008 Arabian Monkey. All rights are reserved for the pictures pasted from Yahoo and Google image searches. As far as everything else goes, we made it, so don't steal our shit. It's ours. Feel free to borrow it... if you ask permission first.

 

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