You might remember our interview with Jonathon "The Impaler" Sharkey that was posted a few months ago. Since then, Sharkey has been awfully busy. Apparently, a group of vampire hunters are after Jonathon Sharkey and his fellow vampires. Jonathon sent us this release:

"Greetings In Blood Kenny,

Allow me to introduce myself to you. My name is Jonathon "The Impaler" Sharkey. Maybe you have heard about me? I am the 2008 VWP (Vampyres, Witches and Pagans) Party's Presidential Candidate. One website has declared that I am "THE MOST BAD ASS PRESIDENTIAL CANDIDATE EVER!" They are right.

I am a Sanguinarian Vampyre, Hecate Witch and a Satanic Dark Priest. Additionally, I am dealing with the United Nations to form a Vampyre Nation. Which I will be the head of.

It has been brought to my attention, that you and your idiotic, moronic, simple minded fuck heads, like killing my kind. Well, besides being "The Most Bad Ass Presidential Candidate EVER!" I am "THE MOST BAD ASS VAMPYRE EVER!" I am a descendant of Romanian Prince Vlad Tepes Dracula.

If you and your people wish to attack my people, why don't you challenge me, "The King Of The Vampyres?" Better yet, I and my Death Dealers challenge you and your idiot cowards.

And Kenny you live at:

Ken Bullard
3311 Glasson St. Apt G
Durham, NC 27705

Better yet. While I am killing you and your followers (OMFG, I am going to kill KENNY! :) ), I will order my Death Dealers to just take your women (show them what it is like to be with real men) and pillage along with burn your homes.

You attack my people. You best be ready to face me. I know North Carolina very well. In 1982, I was assigned to the 82nd Airborne Division and 5th Special Forces Group at Fort Bragg. My Training CO was Colonel Nick Rowe. You may want to research him on the Internet.

I also lived in Charlotte, NC in 1990 while I was wrestling.

How does it feel to know your time of murdering my Kin is almost over? You are a walking DEAD MAN! And I am your executioner.

Unlike what you have done to my Kin, I will give you a chance to pick the date when you want to be; beaten, tortured, IMPALED, dismembered and finally decapitated by me. Any time after 19 Mar 08, I will be available. I am famous, and have interviews scheduled up until 15 Mar 08. Then of course I must celebrate St. Patrick's Day, and have green beer along with turn a few more women into Vampyres.

So, Kenny I am publicly calling you and your punk ass bitches out. Name the time when your lives with be ended. I am sending this email via bcc to media around the world. They know that I will kill you. So, when do I end your worthless pathetic lives?

Please know this, no matter how many punk ass, simple minded fuck heads you show up with, I will make Rambo look like Mother Teresa, and become your worst nightmare!

I am so sure I will kill you and your followers, that my agent is negotiating with Comedy Central about having me on South Park, so when they say - "Oh My God, You Killed KENNY," I can say - "Yeah I did!"

Kenny, I await with bathed breathe for your response. If you do not respond, I guess I will just pick the date to IMPALE you!

BTW - Is your name actually - Ken BULLSHIT? "

 

Sure, Sharkey wasn't pleased with Ken Bullard, but he had other fish to fry. The following is a letter Jonathon sent to the United Nation Romanian Ambassador in hopes of getting some assistance for his Vampire Nation.

 

Ambassador Mihnea Motoc
Romanian Mission To The UN
200 E 38th St
New York, NY 10016-2705

RE: Sponsoring of a new Nation

Greeting Ambassador Motoc,

I am writing to you, per my conversation with a staff member from your office.

My name is Jonathon Sharkey, Ph.D., L.D.D.D. I am the 2008 VWP Party USA Presidential Candidate. Additionally, I am the President of the UVWO. My father’s family bloodline is from Romania (Sietz).

The Romanian people are well aware of me from Jan.’06 when I announced my candidacy for Governor of Minnesota. I gained worldwide media attention after my announcement.

Romania is known as the Vampyre capitol of the world. And I am the most known and infamous Vampyre in the entire world.

The reason for my contacting you is, to ask that Romania sponsor and/or assist the Vampyre Community which is in the millions, form a Vampyre Nation that will be recognized by the United Nations. Or at least be protected by the UN’s Civil Rights laws.

Below please find a posted Internet message by a group called; NTF Investigations. As you will read, they are bragging about killing Vampyres. This group is not the only threat to my community.

The USA does not protect my kind from groups like NTF.

On 13 Jan 06 only 3 hours after I announced I was running for Governor of Minnesota, my wife at that time, was fired from her job as a school bus driver because I announced I was a Vampyre, and she was one too. Was this fair? Or right? – NO!

But no one has been prosecuted for violated her rights. This is not an isolated incident.

As a leader and Elder of the Vampyre Community, along with the people I represent, we are proposing the following;

Like the American Indians, we want to have reservations in the countries we live in, starting with America and Romania. Then expanding to the UK, South America, Germany, etc…

We would want to be recognized by the UN, so those who have been living in fear, will no longer have too.

Most countries protect their citizens from religious discrimination. And though there are Vampyre Churches throughout the world, we are not protected against discrimination, and are subject to repeated attacks (personally and physically.

The Vampyre Nation’s Government would consist of:
King/Queen, Seer, Prime Minister, Governors of Territories, Defense Secretary, Law Enforcement Secretary, Judicial Secretary, Medical Surgeon General, Ambassadors, Secretary of the Treasury, Attorney General, National Chaplains.

Our laws would be a combination of; Imperial Laws, British Laws and USA Laws.

Ambassador, Romania is one country who knows the importance of protecting and advancing the Vampyre Community. On behalf of the Vampyre World, I ask for your assistance in this matter, and sponsor and/or assist in our efforts to become a recognized nation.

I look forward to the opportunity to meet with you, and present our complete plan for forming our nation.

Nel Sangue,

Jonathon Sharkey, Ph.D., L.D.D.D.

 

 

Now, presumably, here's one thing that set off Mr. Sharkey. We have highlighted in red the direct threat against vampires.

Posted message from NTF Investigations:
A few basic rules for sabotage guerrilla activity in general Anarchi Message List

Reply | Forward Message #409 of 410 < Prev | Next >

1: Make sure the operation will be effective. Never waste time with
either a violent or nonviolent operation which is ineffective.

2: Hit the enemy where they least expect it, and where it will hurt
the most.

3: Most sabotage should be carried out at night.

4: Timing must be perfect, as the longer the operation takes the
greater the chances are of something going wrong.

5: Work only with people you trust, "kinda common sense" Many spies
and informers will suggest plans that could only get you busted.
Work in small groups, or cells consisting of no more then four
people.

6: All operations should be simple and fast, and several means of
escape should be planned.

7: All weapons should be concealed, all explosives should be treated
with the respect they deserve.

8: All groups must have a leader. He should be picked for his
leadership qualities. He will make all major decisions.

9: The need for secrecy is obvious. Security and secrecy must be
maintained without reservation.

10: Any member who breaks the code of the group must be excuted in
full view of the other members. "while I don't completly agree with
that one order must be maintained, if a member betrays you then
death is best option"

These rules can be slightly modified for the hunt but most are
pretty common sense, This is the first of much that will be in the
Anarchist Cookbook Lesson.

As an addendum about the 21 yr old James necronomicon boy he didn't
know his head from his ass, as he continued to avoid answering key
things.

AND THIS

to greg

sorry to hear about your back, tend to your wound and time will hear
it you have a place here.

to james

well you made me smile for this new year, a remarkable feat. only 2 vamps killed well its a start, most of the people who've been under me have never been in the military, I tell them the understanding is the same, in life when you make your first live kill weather it be in the military or against the supernatural you will be praying to the porciline thrown, being ex-military I'm almost sure you've done that long ago. you should be commended for taking at least one out.

I'm here to tell everybody, these things are no movie, they are
dangerious, they don't look like you would expect them to in the
movies, each vamp is different, they have a whole counter culture.

too many people idolize them, ahh to be "young and beautiful" forever many would romanticize, the realities are, to feed your needs you must drink blood fresh blood, human perfered, animal is second from the top.

ask yourself this question do you know how much blood a vampire can consume and where do they keep it, or for that matter do you actually know how many pints of blood are in the human body. at last check in the human body including the brain the body of an average man has about 10 pints of blood in him, for the drinkers here, go to the bar or pub and have your bartender line up 10 pints of water in those pint beer stines when you look at it thats not a lot to a vampire but to us its alot.

if anybody here every thought it would be cool to be a vampire go to your local butcher shop and buy some blood from them, yes a butcher shop actually has animal blood because some people use it in cooking.

if to this day you still think it would be cool to be one try
drinking a pint of said blood and each of you will puke your guts out I promise.

I'm going to share some science with all of you, when you pick a scab and you bleed red its a small amount of your blood hitting air its a bio chemical change on the inside of our bodies are blood is not red it darker duskier, when you see blood bags filled that is blood and plasma combined and fresh to keep that stored blood healthy.

to vampires we are a capri sun/red kool aid on walking talking legs, if anybody thinks they are romantic then your fooling yourselves, heres another shock zombies are us, most zombies we might encounter will be us, not rotting corpses from the ground, for anybody who watched return of the living dead 1,2,& 3 let me assure you with the way coffins or caskets are built in the world they are hermetically sealed and stay shut. no zombie can break out of a sealed coffin because they are no stronger then we are, they just won't tire out like we do.

when you encounter zombies they will be your friends, neighbors, the
punks and people you don't take a liking to. there is no saving them
don't embrace them, don't show any emotion for they will give none
either. a simple destroying of the brain will be the only thing
needed.

the first stages of it will be sickness, fever, cold, at all costs
stay away from anyone who's bit or put them out of there misery
before they turn, because once they do they will be ravenous for
your flesh, play it safe and make like little bonny foo foo and give
them a huge bop on the head and hit the brain.

 

Courtesy of Laura Wolf

 

We here at ArabianMonkey.com love Jonathon Sharkey and believe he is still the most kick-ass presidential candidate of all time. Please check out his campaign website and our interview with The Impaler.

Jonathon "The Impaler" Sharkey's Campaign Website

Our Interview with Sharkey

 

If you enjoyed this article, you will most certainly enjoy the rest of ArabianMonkey.com.

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