Girls's Costume Warehouse

 

That magical time of year is here again, when Jesus rises from the dead and dresses up to attend social gatherings and take pictures with dudes in 300 costumes. You know, like 300, the movie? Never mind.

The following is a compilation of the worst Halloween costumes I could find on the internet. None of the ideas are mine, and I'm not trying to take credit for them, mostly because I'm not a creative dude. If you want to buy any of this stuff, head to Shopping.com, Spirithalloween.com, and Funnychill.com.

 

Beer Keg

Nothing promotes your alcoholism like dressing up as a keg for Halloween. This costume is perfect for the guy looking for a way to show his loved ones that he's only a few drinks away from needing a liver transplant and expensive marriage counseling.

 

Wheaties Box

You've always wanted to be a sports star- why not dress an athlete on a Wheaties box so your friends can smell your desperation and failure to achieve your only goal in life?

 

Blind Referee

Ah, Halloween- the only time of year when it is socially acceptable to make fun of the blind. This costume would be infinitely funnier if it came with a betting slip sporting an NBA logo. I'm sure there's a Donaghy costume out there somewhere...

 

Tricky Dick

Wanna cause all kinds of problems on Halloween night? Dress as up as a huge penis and go door-to-door trick-or-treating. I'm sure by the end of the night, there will be dozens of parents throughout your neighborhood being forced to answer an assortment of uncomfortable questions from their kids.

 

Farm Lovin'

This is my personal favorite. Anything to do with beastiality is classically funny, so this was an instant hit in my book. The next step, of course, would be to use a real sheep. Imagine chasing around your woolly four-legged princess at a party, desperately trying to get BAAAA-RBIE back to complete your costume- your friends look on, confused, amused, and somewhat turned on. Wow, what a Halloween this will be.

 

Confession

That was a pretty good name I made up there, eh? Anyway, don't wear this one to your youth group's Trick-or-Treat-for-Jesus-Hallows-Eve-Bonanza.

 

Got any other great costume ideas? Post them in the forums!

 

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