Arabian Monkey- Five Awesome Movies That Don't Exist

Have you ever seen a movie and wished it had a totally different plot line? I certainly have, so I took that idea and came up with five films that moviegoers across America would love to see in theaters.

"Tonight... we dine at Burger King!"

"300 Lbs." is a coming-of-age tale about a Spartan (Leonidas) in his mid-twenties. He is fresh out of college, living on his own, and eating unhealthily. Seeking direction to his life, Leonidas decides to enlist in the Spartan army. He is ridiculed and berated by his peers- after all, how could such an obese man be an effective soldier? Leo sets out to prove to Sparta that he can serve his people in battle... after a few Whoppers with cheese. Can Leonidas live out his dream of being the world's greatest warrior? Or will his plump frame prevent him from ever making a name for himself? Find out in theaters this summer.

"We're going streaking through the senior center!"

Hilarity ensues when a group of rowdy old people decide to found a fraternity based in the senior living center just off of campus. You'll be laughing out loud at the shenanigans of these octogenarians who just can't stay out of trouble! You'll be rolling in the aisle after watching "Frank the Tank" chug a whole pint of prune juice, and fight back tears as one by one, the entire cast dies of ailments such as shingles, osteoporosis, and cancer. This film is the must see(nior) movie of the summer! Note: showing times for this film will not exceed 5pm.

"Patch Adams" is the tale of the legendary Caribbean pirate of the same name, infamously known for his murderous tendencies and thirst for the blood of terminally ill children. Test audiences have declared this movie "the scariest, most grotesque waste of film since Saw II." You will horrified as Patch Adams harpoons, skewers, drowns, and devours his helpless victims. As the body count rises, Adams becomes even hungrier for the flesh of innocent youth. Will anyone be able to stop his reign of terror? You will have to find out for yourself this Halloween!

Woody Allen stars in this instant-classic sequel to "Space Jam." After defeating the 'Monstars' in the first film, Bugs Bunny and company receive royalty checks from the NBA, Time Warner, and cumulative DVD sales. The toons are filthy rich! But wait... who is going to do their taxes? Enter Allen, a struggling tax man looking for a big break and a shot at the big time. Can he help the cartoons balance their checkbooks and submit their W2's to the IRS before the deadline? I bet you can't wait to find out!

Jim Carrey stars as president Harry S. Truman in this documentary about the commander-in-chief's time spent in office. You'll be right alongside Truman as he struggles to bolster the failing U.S. economy, as he desegregates the military, and as he orders the use of atomic weapons in Hiroshima and Nagasaki. It is truly the can't-miss presidential biopic of the decade!

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