The Douginator

The Douginator has done it all. He hunted wolverines in Alaska, worked in the CIA, created The Beatles, explained the Theory of Relativity to Einstein, told on Richard Nixon for being bad, sang opera, danced with some stars, and played professional finger jousting. He enjoys the Big Lebowski and Boondock Saints. He listens to music by Nirvana, the Beatles, Metallica, Luciano Pavarotti, Beethoven, Bob Marley, Pink Floyd, and Bob Dylan. The Douginator is a co-founder, writer and the chief promoter for The Arabian Monkey Company. You can reach him on them newfangled internets at thedouginator@arabianmonkey.com.

 

The Gerk

The Gerk is a complacent college student who is cogniscent of (but will never attain) his full potential. He is a pessimist, an apathetic, and an asshole. In his free time he works at a television station, writes for a college newspaper, and plays internet poker. The Gerk also enjoys debauchory, revelry, shenanigans, and causing a ruckus. He also likes to gerrymander. You know, like districts. The Gerk is a writer and editor-in-chief for The Arabian Monkey Company. He is fully aware of the fact that he is better than you, and any dissenting opinion should be sent to TheGerk@arabianmonkey.com.

 

Jesus Shuttlesworth

Jesus Shuttlesworth is an opinionated hood rat straight from the streets. He is a rebel and a socialist who sleeps with anarchy and dreams of revolution. In his free time, Jesus enjoys protesting, peacefully marching, and not shopping at Wal-Mart. Jesus Shuttlesworth keeps a watchful eye on all things political, social, soulful.  He also checks out the hood, G. You can send him his much deserved hate mail at jesusshuttlesworth@arabianmonkey.com.

 

Drokk

Drokk (pronounced Dee-Rock) is a born-again Evangelical Christian college student from Michigan. He is also the luckiest poker player in the world (this fact may or not be related to his religious piety). He claims that he is open minded, just not so open minded that his brain falls out. Sports are a big part of Drokk's life- he is a hardcore Detroit fan, and likes writing about local teams. Drokk also wrestled in high school, and enjoyed it way too much. You can send him pictures of your genitals at Drokk@arabianmonkey.com.

 

Max Power

As a film buff, he will be primarily concerned with movie reviews, and he just might save you from watching the next "Gigli." You're welcome. Max takes pride in knowing more about movies than you ever cared to know, and on an unrelated note, he is also quite a snazzy dresser. He enjoys long walks on the beach, candlelight dinners, and sexual fantasies involving a farmer and a Mexican apple picker. You can tell him where to shove his movie reviews at Maxpower@arabianmonkey.com.

 

Demonic Laughter

Demonic Laughter is an unemployed college drop out who is fully aware of the fact that he has fucked his entire life up, and he's fine with it. He played football in high school and he's never going to let you forget it. Demonic Laughter is also a proud liberal with a penchant for violence- his hobbies include womanizing, drinking, and competing in facial hair growing competitions. He knows he can kick your ass and is willing to bet on it; he's been to jail and he's not afraid to go back. Demonic Laughter also enjoys long walks on the beach, candlelight dinners, and stuffed animals. You can beg him for mercy at DemonicLaughter@arabianmonkey.com.