With week one of the NFL season already in the books, it is time to look ahead. Who will be the best of the best in the National Football League in 2007? I may be thinking outside of the box a little, but I stake my reputation on the fact that these players will garner national attention with their accomplishments this year. Here is a position by position breakdown of who I think will end up on this campaign's Pro Bowl team.

 

QB: Michael Vick

Michael has been HOUNDED during the offseason for off-the-field issues, but I think he has potential to start in this year's Pro Bowl. Sure, he's a bit of an UNDERDOG pick, but throw the guy a bone. Vick ELECTRIFIES his opponents with lightning quick feet in the pocket, and DROWNS opposing defensive backs with his mid-range passing game. Does it look like he is about to be sacked? No worries! He's not going to PLEA BARGAIN with any defensive lineman! Vick will be running full speed all the way to the (big) house!

 

RB: Kenny Irons, Tiki Barber

Kenny "Iron Knee" Irons is going to be coming off a knee injury at Auburn, but don't expect him to be sidelined any time soon. He's already on the IR you say? Well, at least he's not in jail like the rest of the Cincinatti Bengals.

Look for Tiki Barber to do more for the Giants' offense in the pressbox than he ever did on the field. He is a surefire pick for the Pro Bowl...probably as a sideline reporter.

 

FB: Mike Alstott

Injuries schminjuries. He's white. PRO BOWL BABY!

 

WR: Chris Henry, Marcus Vick

It is my prediction that Chris Henry will break out in the second half of the season. In fact, I'd go as far as to say he is gonna be "locked down" for the first eight games. After being arrested by those pesky police four times in a year, Henry will be looking for revenge once he's back in the lineup.

Marcus Vick may be a free agent, but I'd expect him to be signed and Pro Bowl bound very soon. I mean, what team can go wrong by selecting a Vick?

 

TE: Shannon Sharpe

Retired my ass. When Brett Favre's wide recievers go down midseason, expect Shannon to be headed to Green Bay to catch the one out of every three balls not thrown to the opposing team. My original choice for this position was Kevin Everett... but methinks it's a little too soon. Let's walk before we run, shall we?

 

OL: Orlando Pace

I predict that sometime around week three, with his team winless in his absence, Orlando Pace will forget about rotator cuff surgery and just have his arm amputated at the shoulder to get back on the field.

 

DL: Tank Johnson, Reggie White

Have you ever seen Tank Johnson's guns?!? They're huge! Think of all the offensive linemen he could blow away with those guns! No, I'm being serious, he might kill someone.

Reggie White is a dead-ringer for the Pro Bowl this year. (SNAP!)

 

LB: Odell Thurman, Shawne Merriman

Expect Thurman to DRIVE OUT OF CONTROL through the oposition's offensive line. Fantasy owners will be DRUNK with delight as Odell racks up tackle after tackle this year.

Wait, you mean to tell me Shawne Merriman was using steroids last season? Well damnit, get him some more!

 

DB: Pacman Jones, Will Demps, Pat Tillman

Pacman is going to FIGHT his bad rap and get to the Pro Bowl this year. He basically HANDCUFFS most NFL wideouts, and then STRIPS them of the ball. He is one of the SHOOTING stars of this league. He is bound to set some sort of record in 2007. His previous records include most interceptions by a Titan (9), most dreadlocks (426), and most arrests in a year (10).

Will Demps is known for his consistency and the ability to avoid injury...oh... nevermind.

Pat Tillman is a true patriot, and not of the New England variety. He has a problem dealing with FRIENDLY FIRE (from the media), but he will be going to war with opposing offenses this season. *

 

*This was the most off-color and inappropriate joke I have ever made. I apologize for being to lazy to press backspace a bunch of times to delete it.

 

 

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